Today we have a question from Cindy who resides in Philadelphia. She asks, How long should my
girlfriend and I date before we move in together?
So I know how us lesbians get, okay they meet
somebody, they’re feeling really connected, and pretty early on we feel we want to move in together.
There’s a chemical change that occurs in the beginning of a relationship that causes us to feel strong
feelings prematurely. These chemicals like Oxytocin make you feel like you want to move in together
and spend every waking moment together but you want to slow down and just beware that this is sort
of at play and you want to really get to know this person before you jump into something. Moving in
together is a big commitment so you want to build a foundation beforehand so that when life happens
and things become really stressful you’ll have something to fall back on. You’ll have a foundation, you’ll know how to argue effectively, you’ll know how to work through difficult situations. If you move in
too soon, life will definitely happen, I promise you, and you won’t have the foundation to back up the
relationship. So I would take it slow and not move in until you’ve been together for about a year which
is usually my recommendation. So enjoy your time together and once you’ve hit the year mark and you
feel like you’ve been challenged in ways in your relationship that have shown that you can work through
it by communicating and being respectful and work through difficult situations then consider moving in
together if you’re still feeling like you’re compatible and there’s chemistry. Good luck, Cindy.
Dr. Frankie of Little Gay Book, LLC is a matchmaker who focuses exclusively on finding love for singles in the Lesbian community. She holds a Doctorate in the field of Psychology and is an expert in the field of human behavior and matching, with years of experience.
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