Crushed Out |
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Dear Dr. Frankie, I have been with my girlfriend for almost two years. She's absolutely everything I need and want. My perfection. And her family is wonderful. I am very grateful for everything. However, less than a month ago I met someone at work. They had partnered us up for a special sales event and I met her about a week after that meeting. She's very charming and every time I see her, my heart races. She is five years older than me. We are so attracted to each other. My current girlfriend is my second relationship and both have been serious. Because I am so young, I don't know if that's what's making me just want to live in the moment. With my girlfriend I picture a very happy future. With my crush I picture a very blissful now. Please help me.
Dear Crushed Out, It appears that despite your racing hormones you have the clarity to see the difference between a happy, stable future and a passion-infused tryst. Imagine that you were available to pursue something more than friendship with your crush. Is the idea still tempting or perhaps are you dreaming about her because she’s currently off-limits?
Are you mostly intrigued by the physical attraction you and your crush share, and less interested in the idea of having a relationship? My opinion is that crushes come and go, but being in a relationship with a woman you love, and whose family you love, is a rare and wonderful gift. If after your soul-searching you realize that you simply aren’t ready to be in a serious relationship at this time, then that is an entirely different situation. You mentioned that you are young and this is only your second relationship. It’s natural to be curious about other women. But perhaps you just aren’t ready to be tied down with Ms. Right. This could be an opportunity to spread your wings and explore the world.
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