Are They Into Me? Behaviors That Indicate Attraction

Ever wonder if a person is attracted to you?  By analyzing clusters of non-verbal behaviors and body language we can pick up on these subtle cues that suggest the other person is interested.  These behaviors include:

Dilated pupils: When we are around someone we like our pupils grow larger.  Although this may be hard to see, you can try to gauge a baseline and notice a change as they look towards you (while being aware that pupils will naturally dilate or restrict depending on light).  Interestingly enough, people find those with larger pupils to be more attractive.  One study showed the same picture of a person and just changed the size of his pupils.  People rated the photo of him with larger pupils more favorably.  This may be a hard-wired subconscious method of finding those that are attracted to us.

Increased energy: When we like someone the chemical levels in our brains undergo several changes. The chemicals that result from physical attraction is phenyle ethylamine, it is a naturally occurring amphetamine substance in our brain that stimulates and increases both physical and emotional energy.

Increased focus: This may include asking more questions and being more attentive.

Leaning forward: This gesture indicates an increase and focus and wanting to be closer to that person.  Additionally, it’s a way to test the waters and see if the other person leans in to be closer to you or leans back, creating space. When we are attracted to someone, changes in dopamine increase our desire to be physically close and intimately connected.

Full smile: Showing all of your teeth sends a message of being a healthy mate and interested.

Rapid Blinking: Can indicate interest, attraction, and nervousness (be careful though, studies have also linked blinking with lying).

Mirroring: When people click they start to mirror or mimic each other’s behaviors.  This can include gestures, speech pattern, posture, emotions, arm/leg movements, and breathing.  Think of couples that start dressing the same.

Pointing: People will subconsciously point parts (not that body part!) towards a person they are interested in by crossing their legs, their feet, hands, legs, toes, or fingers in that direction.

Grooming/Preening: Behaviors that “fix up” the other person; this could include fixing their hair, adjusting their clothes, picking lint off of a shirt, or other similar gestures.

Raising Eyebrows: This may occur in less than a second, but a raised eyebrow provides a subconscious sign of attraction, showing increased interest.

Gazing: Both men and women have been found to gaze longer at pictures of people who they find attractive vs. unattractive. However, another study found that men gaze more when introduced to someone that they find attractive and women did not differ in their eye contact (when introduced to attractive vs. unattractive people).  Sorry ladies, men may have the upper hand on this one.

Displaying body parts: People may find themselves thrusting or wiggling parts of their body forward (chest, wrists, neck, bottom, or groin area) to draw attention and show attraction.

Simulated sexual activities: This may include acting out activities one wants to do with a potential partner.  Examples of this include licking lips, stroking a glass, or any gesture along these lines.

Cocking your head: Another behavior showing interest.

Changing your tone of voice: Studies have found that women will have a singing tone and males will lower their voices, when attracted to a potential partner.  Friends may notice that you speak differently around them and vise versa.

I know this is exciting stuff but don’t jump to conclusions when you see the cute girl batting her eyes at you-her contacts might be dry.  Look at the full picture and follow your gut. Cue in on clusters of behaviors that indicate attraction.  Read her cues, reel her in, and stimulate her sympathetic nervous system with a date that would make me proud!  Happy Valentine’s Day, ladies!