Greetings Members,

The month of love is usually met with excitement for the events to come or anticipation for the month to be over. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you are on there are tricks you can use to spice up the month and make it more appealing. If you are planning a date with someone you've been interested in for some time, how do you make it unique without playing into the Hallmark Holiday? Be a good listener and identify your dates' interests and hobbies. Try to pick up on her "I would like to do that some day" comments. Make a date unique might by avoiding routines. Try a new activity (camping, spa, hike, scavenger hunt, museums, draw activities out of a hat, go to a theme park). The point is to keep things spontaneous, adventurous, and the adrenaline going. Research has found that when a person does an activity (ex. roller coaster ride) that raises ones excitement level (sympathetic nervous system arousal), they rate higher levels of attraction afterwards, likely due to pairing the adrenaline rush to liking that individual vs. the activity. Other studies have found that in situations with increased anxiety, one will rate a person as being more attractive upon meeting them. Thrill seekers you may be onto something here! When you participate in an activity that takes you through a process it allows for more quality time and for stories to develop, making it memorable.

If you are single and are not looking forward to the holiday, change your mood by doing the opposite action of what you're feeling. For example, if you feel isolated and want to sit home alone to avoid looking at all of the couples outside, call a friend or a group of people to plan a fun night out with the theme of embracing being single. Maybe choose a place that is having a singles night. You could also spoil yourself that day indulging in activities that make you happy or plan something nice for a single friend. Some people send valentines cards or flowers to those who don't have family/friends in nursing homes. Acts of kindness may go a long way and create a more personal meaning on an otherwise commercialized holiday.

I hope these tips find you well during the month of love. If you are having a hard time finding a connection with someone, just remember to break old patterns by trying new behaviors, including events, dating outside of your "norm," and being open to new possibilities. If all else fails, the lesbian cupid is always here and happy to be of service.

Now, if you are contemplating asking a potential date out on Valentines Day, but are unsure if they are interested in you, then look no further. This month's topic may be of service.

Warmly,





ARE THEY INTO ME? BEHAVIORS THAT INDICATE ATTRACTION

Ever wonder if a person is attracted to you? By analyzing clusters of non-verbal behaviors and body language we can pick up on these subtle cues that suggest the other person is interested. These behaviors include:

Dilated pupils: When we are around someone we like our pupils grow larger. Although this may be hard to see, you can try to gauge a baseline and notice a change as they look towards you (while being aware that pupils will naturally dilate or restrict depending on light). Interestingly enough, people find those with larger pupils to be more attractive. One study showed the same picture of a person and just changed the size of his pupils. People rated the photo of him with larger pupils more favorably. This may be a hard-wired subconscious method of finding those that are attracted to us.

Increased energy: When we like someone the chemical levels in our brains undergo several changes. The chemicals that result from physical attraction is phenyle ethylamine, it is a naturally occurring amphetamine substance in our brain that stimulates and increases both physical and emotional energy.