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November 2014

It's important to be able to separate the "truths" from the "myths" in regards to happiness.  We all want to be happy, right? Isnt that what we're striving for on a daily basis? Doesn't it seem like we keep needing more to fuel our desire to be happy? Maybe you think "If only had this or that or more of

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Several months ago Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin brought the term “conscious uncoupling” into mainstream consciousness.  They put a label to a very thoughtful and perhaps even, loving way of undoing a marriage or romantic union.  What I like about the word choice is the respect it pays the act of the undoing.  Marriage and partnership is a conscious choice,

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There's a reason the Uhaul 2nd Date, lesbian stereotype exists: Lesbians attach. Sensitive to the oxytocin and neurochemicals of attachment, lesbians bond faster and more intensely than other couples. Sometimes, those intense relationships develop into lesbian codependency. What Is Codependence? Ross A Rosenberg, a psychotherapist and author describes codependency as an “inherently dysfunctional “dance” requiring two opposite but distinctly balanced partners: The Pleaser/Fixer

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As a femme, I’m accustomed to lesbians querying me with inappropriate assumptions disguised as questions: “Are you SURE you’re a lesbian? “You’re bisexual aren’t you?” “I’ve never met a lesbian that looks like you-Are you SURE you're a lesbian?” While I appreciate their raised eyebrows and admissions of surprise, I got to thinking: Where DO lesbians turn for advice on how to behave in

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On March 25, Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin announced their divorce after over a decade of marriage, using the phrase "conscious uncoupling.” This announcement hit very close to home, for my partner and I, after over 10 years together, separated in mid-March. Conscious Uncoupling is an approach toward separation in which partners reject the traditional combative cruelty associated with divorce, and

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In Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, couples therapist and author Esther Perel explores the possibility of sexual desire co-existing with intimacy. She points out the paradox in long-term relationships that creates conflict between the erotic and the domestic areas of life: "Love seeks closeness, but desire needs space to thrive."  This post is the second in a series of

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Dear Dr. Frankie, My girlfriend and I've been together three months and want to move in together. Our friends say its too early but we think the time is right. -UHaul Dear UHaul, Your friends are right. Now is not the time to move-in together. Scientific studies show that brain chemistry is altered during the beginning of a relationship. The brain releases

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Dear Dr. Frankie, How do I charm a femme? -Butch Seeking Femme Dear Butch Seeking Femme, Great question! Here are a few simple tips: Take initiative, be assertive and confident! Confidence is sexy! I've noticed that women, from butch to femme, all want to be pursued. This goes ESPECIALLY for the femme. So be the pursuer, ask her out and plan the date. Practice good

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Dear Dr. Frankie, How much time is enough time so a new relationship isn't a rebound one? -Movin On Dear Movin On, You ask a really good question that isn't easy to answer in a couple of sentences but I do feel it depends a large amount on the condition of your last relationship. If you relationship felt stale and loveless for sometime prior to the actual

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Dear Dr. Frankie, I want my girlfriend to dress up for me sometimes, it seems as if we're in a place where she is comfortable and doesn't try to impress me. I want the old girlfriend back who always looked hot for me and tried to impress me. -Stuck in Boring Land Dear Stuck in Boring Land, It's hard to know if your relationship

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Dear Dr. Frankie, How do I charm a butch? -Femme Seeking Butch Dear Femme Seeking Butch, As a femme I'm sure you know how to get your "sexy on". I recommend you show up at an event where you know she'll be, wearing an outfit you feel sexy in. It's also important to of course to remember to wear sexy underwear because it only makes you

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Dear Dr. Frankie I am a beautiful middle-age femme that has just (2 years) come out of a long relationship.  I would like to meet someone but I don't know how to begin. Please help!!! -Recently Single Dear Recently Single, I would recommend you start by changing things up a bit. Doing away with the old and starting over with a new refreshed look.

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Dear Dr. Frankie, I'm 40 and am attracted to slightly femmey women but all the single ones seem to have children and I'm not down with that. Please tell me I don't have to wait until their kids are grown! I've been looking for five years to no avail. -No Children Allowed Dear No Children Allowed, You don’t have to wait for the children

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