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In Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, couples therapist and author Esther Perel explores the possibility of sexual desire co-existing with intimacy. She points out the paradox in long-term relationships that creates conflict between the erotic and the domestic areas of life: "Love seeks closeness, but desire needs space to thrive."Â This post is the second in a series of
Dear Dr. Frankie, My girlfriend and I've been together three months and want to move in together. Our friends say its too early but we think the time is right. -UHaul Dear UHaul, Your friends are right. Now is not the time to move-in together. Scientific studies show that brain chemistry is altered during the beginning of a relationship. The brain releases
Dear Dr. Frankie, How do I charm a femme? -Butch Seeking Femme Dear Butch Seeking Femme, Great question! Here are a few simple tips: Take initiative, be assertive and confident! Confidence is sexy! I've noticed that women, from butch to femme, all want to be pursued. This goes ESPECIALLY for the femme. So be the pursuer, ask her out and plan the date. Practice good
Dear Dr. Frankie, How much time is enough time so a new relationship isn't a rebound one? -Movin On Dear Movin On, You ask a really good question that isn't easy to answer in a couple of sentences but I do feel it depends a large amount on the condition of your last relationship. If you relationship felt stale and loveless for sometime prior to the actual
Dear Dr. Frankie, I want my girlfriend to dress up for me sometimes, it seems as if we're in a place where she is comfortable and doesn't try to impress me. I want the old girlfriend back who always looked hot for me and tried to impress me. -Stuck in Boring Land Dear Stuck in Boring Land, It's hard to know if your relationship
Dear Dr. Frankie, How do I charm a butch? -Femme Seeking Butch Dear Femme Seeking Butch, As a femme I'm sure you know how to get your "sexy on". I recommend you show up at an event where you know she'll be, wearing an outfit you feel sexy in. It's also important to of course to remember to wear sexy underwear because it only makes you
Dear Dr. Frankie I am a beautiful middle-age femme that has just (2 years) come out of a long relationship. Â I would like to meet someone but I don't know how to begin. Please help!!! -Recently Single Dear Recently Single, I would recommend you start by changing things up a bit. Doing away with the old and starting over with a new refreshed look.
Dear Dr. Frankie, I'm 40 and am attracted to slightly femmey women but all the single ones seem to have children and I'm not down with that. Please tell me I don't have to wait until their kids are grown! I've been looking for five years to no avail. -No Children Allowed Dear No Children Allowed, You don’t have to wait for the children
Dear Dr. Frankie, I'm transgendered, M2F, I have not started to transition. I am not quite sure how to begin. Can you help? -Considering Transitioning Hello Considering Transitioning, I would start off by doing your research. That includes searching for information about the medical procedure, attending transgender support groups, researching Dr.’s that perform the operation, and learning about all the steps in between (insurance
Dear Dr. Frankie, Hi! I have a question about the current e-technology and long distance quotients in dating. I met a woman, (I'll name her "C") online (she answered my ad) and she lives 4 hours away by car. "C" loves the area where I live and would move if her career could move her. (I think this is why "C"
Dear Dr. Frankie, I'm 51, lesbian and having a difficult time meeting women to date. I have been in quite a few serious relationships over the years and now would just like to date some nice women. I don't like the bar scene anymore and I'm not completely out, so it makes things difficult. I did recently join a PFLAG chapter
Dear Dr. Frankie, I have been out of a long relationship for a year now, will I met someone who loves me and I them? -Looking For Love Dear Looking For Love, Absolutely, I think using your past as an anchor for possibilities in the future is a great way to look at things. That you’ve had a long term relationship proves that you
Dear Dr. Frankie, I am an attractive butch that is attracted to feminine women. I was in a mentally abusive relationship for 10 years with a femme who demanded control..I loved her or thought I did..I left her about 1 year and 1/2 ago and am ready to meet a true lady
Dear Dr. Frankie, I am the most reasonable woman anyone could ever meet!  I can not understand for the life of me why can't I meet someone?  I am very easy going, drama free, cannot stand to argue, and I feel that anything can be talked about. If the matter is serious go calm down then let’s talk later. I'm not