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    Home2021

    May 2021

    Dear Dr. Frankie,   My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. Last year, she went to grad school abroad, and the other day she called with a request: Can she have the freedom to sleep with other women even though she doesn't want to have a relationship with them?   Honestly, I hate this idea and it makes me distrust whatever

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    It seems like consent should be really important to sex. Why does it seem so complicated? Great question. Over the last decades, consent discourse has shifted. Consent used to focus on "no means no," a model in which basically, if no one said "no" to sex, it was considered consensual. The "yes means yes" model gained popularity when a book by

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    You already know that strong, healthy boundaries are important and lead to strong, healthy relationships with others as well as with yourself. But what types of boundaries are there, and how do you set them? What Are Boundaries, Again? Boundaries are a way to distinguish what you want from what you don't want. They're about how you will act or feel, not

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    Learning that you have an STI can go along with a lot of emotions. There's everything that relates to how you feel about it - and then there's the knowledge that you'll have to disclose your STI to any current and recent sexual partners and, depending on whether or not it's treatable, any future sexual partners, too.    Lots of people get

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    Sexually transmitted infections are on the rise, and if you're a sexually active person there's a very good chance that in your lifetime you'll have sex with someone who has had or currently has an STI. It can feel like a heightened moment, but it doesn't have to be. Here's what to do when a sex partner - potential or

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    What does it mean to forgive? Forgiveness is the practice of releasing resentment, anger, vengefulness, disappointment, or related feelings around a situation, whether the situation involves another person or ourselves.    Forgiveness is not an endorsement or erasure of something that happened. It doesn’t mean that you were hurt for a while, but you’re okay now, so you can finally forgive. It

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    Whether it’s waiting to hear back about something important, waiting to move in with a partner until you get to know each other better, waiting to make a big purchase that you can’t afford just yet, or waiting in line outside a store, waiting sucks. It can feel like everything is on hold until that thing you’re waiting for comes

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    Bad things happen in life sometimes. We can’t control that, but we can control how we deal with them. If you constantly respond by feeling like everyone or the universe is out to get you, by trying to not feel anything at all, or by feeling like you only have other people to blame, you might be playing the victim.

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    Most of us don’t grow up learning to think of rejection as a good thing. We often internalize the opposite: the idea that rejection is bad, that it’s a personal indictment of us and everything about us, that we should try to avoid it at all costs, and that if we can’t, we’ve somehow failed. In this understanding, when we

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    Just a quick note about language: because science isn’t great with words around gender, in this post I’m going to use the words “female anatomy.” You and I both know that lots of people with vulvas and vaginas are not women, and that lots of women do not have vaginas or vulvas.   Is there any subject around women’s sexuality more contentious

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    Let’s get one thing gay: asexuality exists. Here’s what it is, why language is an imperfect way to describe it, and (some of) what it means. What Is Asexuality? Speaking generally and imperfectly, “Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction while celibacy is the lack of sexual behavior,” as Chen writes in Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the

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    Congratulations on making it to 2021! The start of any new year is full of resolutions, expectations, hopes, and dreams. Maybe you plan to finally Kondo your closets. Maybe you're committing to a body composition goal. Maybe you're determined to crush it in your professional life. In many ways, the self-imposed pressure is on to not only make the usual

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