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Should I Tell Her

Dear Dr. Frankie,

I have a really great friend who I think I am falling for. She is single as well. We have been friends for a couple of years now. Each one of us has had a difficult time recovering from what I would call obsessive crushes on our exes. It’s as if we keep looping back to our crushes and aren’t able to move on. We don’t talk about our exes as often now and I think each of us may finally be ready to move on. There has always been talk between my friend and I about us dating. She says she never wants to get married again; mind you she was married to a man before (not the ex she has the crush on). I would one day like to marry, if not her someone. We have so many things in common and similar struggles in our lives that we have overcome. We live a few states away from each other and talk regularly. Should I address my growing feelings with my love interest/friend or just let things flow where they may?

Dear Baffled,

It sounds like you and your friend have a very comfortable and close relationship. I absolutely suggest that you bring up your feelings to your friend. It sounds as if you are not the only one wondering where the relationship is headed. Hopefully your feelings will be mutual and the two of you can explore a relationship beyond a friendship. If she does not share a romantic interest then at least you have given yourself the chance to reconcile your relationship. You can experience the sadness that would naturally come with unrequited romantic feelings and then get past those feelings. You and your friend could then focus on developing the friendship without each of you wondering what the other is feeling. Having the discussion will hopefully alleviate any curiosity or question about a romantic future.

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