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Dear Dr. Frankie,

How do I charm a femme?

-Butch Seeking Femme

Dear Butch Seeking Femme,

Great question! Here are a few simple tips:

Take initiative, be assertive and confident! Confidence is sexy! I’ve noticed that women, from butch to femme, all want to be pursued. This goes ESPECIALLY for the femme. So be the pursuer, ask her out and plan the date. Practice good grooming, shower and make sure to smell great (this doesn’t mean overpowering)! Chances are when you get to her house she won’t be ready. Be patient. Femmes do not like to be rushed. Factor in an extra 30 minutes to be safe. Compliment her shoes! Femmes take pride in their appearance, show her you notice! Don’t be a me-me, this is someone who is self-absorbed and talks endlessly about him/herself. Be attentive. Listening while she speaks will allow you to ask appropriate and interesting questions. This will show her that you’re thoughtful. Sadly, truly thoughtful people are hard to find. Make the first move a kiss on the cheek, if you like her and hope to see her again. Anything more and she may think you’re interested in only one thing – sex. When the time is right, consider sending flowers to her job, femmes love others to see that they’re being pursued. Also sending a random text to let her know you’re thinking about her never hurts.

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