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Dear Dr. Frankie,

My partner and I recently split after 10 years together. There are a lot of underlying issues but his cheating was too much. I am 38 now and find the dating scene to be scary. I have always been optimistic but finding myself alone again I find myself in unfamiliar waters. Any advise where to go from here?

-New to the Dating Game

Dear New to the Dating Game,

Getting back into the dating scene can feel scary, especially when it feels new and unknown.  It can also bring a lot of excitement.  With any great gains, taking healthy risks can be necessary.  Maybe this means calling old friends you have not seen in a while to get acquainted with identifying yourself as single again.  I would try online dating, so that you can state exactly who you are look ing for and screen people for what you’re looking for.  Try to take away the pressure of dating by reframing the situation as an experiment, you’re going to try a new behavior (dating) to enjoy meeting new people and just enjoy the process (possibly meeting a future boyfriend).  Taking time to re-center yourself, and identify your wants and needs in a partner is key.  You have been given a chance to find a better match and get your own grounding.  Try to socialize more with friends, within organizations, and dating online.  Take it one step at a time and give yourself credit for taking a risk and trying something new. Good Luck!

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