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Dear Dr. Frankie,

I’m a 28-year-old woman and I find myself constantly thinking about sex and masturbating. My last two relationships ended because my girlfriends just couldn’t keep up with me sexually. I’m so desperate I’m trolling the craigslist casual sex listings. I’m disgusted and ashamed of my behavior. Am I a sex addict? How can I find relief? -Consumed.

Dear Consumed,

What you’re describing appears to meet the diagnosis of a sex addict. A sexual addiction is a term used to describe someone with an abnormally high libido and/or someone who is consumed with thoughts of sex. While it’s rather difficult for me to give you the advice you need in a blog post, I will provide you a good starting point.

A sex addict often finds that their addiction bleeds over into areas of his/her life, making it difficult to engage in healthy friendships and relationships.

A sex addict, like any other addict, often tries to rationalize his/her behavior and has distorted thinking. Aside from the shame and relationship problems that can arise as a result of a sexual addiction, sex addicts often engage in unhealthy risk-taking. He or she may find themselves taking risks that are imminently dangerous or dangerous to their long-term health (ie: sexually transmitted diseases).

An extreme manifestation of a sexual addiction is participation in illicit sexual behavior.

This can be peeping, exhibitionism, and even as extreme as molestation and rape. I do not mean in any way to imply that all sexual addicts engage in this behavior, but in rare and extreme cases this is a possibility.

A sexual addiction is treated like any other addiction.

Look online for local treatment groups such as Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous . There are also therapists who specialize in sexual addictions. A healthy level of distraction will help get you through your day. Coping strategies include regular, vigorous physical exercise, spending time with friends, and other activities that you enjoy that engage you mentally and physically. In certain cases medication may be prescribed.

Further Reading:

My Girlfriend Won’t Have Sex with Me – What Should I Do?

How To Find Authentic Love

Ask Dr. Frankie: How Can I Meet Professional Lesbians?

 

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