Just a quick note about language: because science isn’t great with words around gender, in this post I’m going to use the words “female anatomy.” You and I both know that lots of people with vulvas and vaginas are not women, and that lots of women do not have vaginas or vulvas.
Is there any subject around women’s sexuality more contentious than squirting? Probably! But squirting, female ejaculation, and even whether or not those refer to the same occurrence or two different ones, have been contentious for decades.
However you think about it, gushing is not new. According to Somjag Pokras and Jeffre Talltrees, authors of Female Ejaculation: Unleash the Ultimate G-spot Orgasm, there are references to it that span thousands of years, including in Aristotle’s work, Shunga art from sixteenth-century Japan, and Shakespeare’s musings on “the water of my love.” Still, the place of the G-spot – which is related to gushing – in contemporary sexuality is debated. In The Pleasure Gap, Katherine Rowland writes: “the G-spot: to some essential, to others its very existence hangs in doubt.” Why?
Rowland writes that science often over-generalizes male sexuality and over-specifies female sexuality. “While researchers have cataloged the form, frequency, and verity of women’s orgasms – clitoral, vaginal, G-spot, faked – no typology exists for male pleasure. There is simply the all-important and yet literally unremarkable orgasm.” One side effect of this approach to examining female sexuality, Rowland argues, is that the focus has shifted away from what is actually important: embodiment and pleasure.
That means that what’s important about the G-spot isn’t what researchers say about it, or what studies say about the role it has in squirting, or whether squirting exists, or what liquid it’s made of, or whether squirting and female ejaculation even happens, and if so if the fluid involved is urine or chemically similar to urine. Instead, what’s important about all of this, as I’m talking about it here, is lived experience and sexual enjoyment.
What Role Does The G-Spot Have In Squirting?
The urethral sponge, more commonly known as the G-spot, is a clump of erectile tissue located about two inches inside the vagina on the front wall (the side with your navel) that swells during arousal. When you stimulate it enough during sex, squirting, or orgasms – they’re separate! – can sometimes be the result.
Is Squirting Normal?
YES. It is not only totally normal to squirt, it’s totally hot. Some people with vaginas can experience a sense of shame around the way our bodies experience and show pleasure. But that’s because we live in a society that doesn’t see female pleasure as a universal good.
While it’s up to an individual’s lived experience to know for sure, squirting is usually a sign that someone is experiencing an intense amount of sexual pleasure. Congratulations! If you’ve squirted and your partner isn’t into it, it’s worth having a conversation about why. Similarly, if your partner squirted and you thought it was weird and that’s why you’re here today, welcome to Team Squirt.
I Want To Try To Squirt. How Do I Do That?
First, give yourself room to relax with a little preparation. If you have one, put down a Liberator Throe – the water-resistant interior should protect your bed or other surfaces (plus, it’s machine washable). If you don’t have one, extra towels – lots of towels – over your bedding is a great start. Be creative with your comfort and give yourself the space to get messy without getting stuck in your head.
Then, give yourself room to relax. Whether you’re trying to squirt alone or with a partner, spend some time getting aroused and engaged. Really connect to the sensations you’re feeling and your own potential for pleasure. Don’t focus on how you’re about to try to squirt – focus on being present with what you’re doing now.
When you’re ready, stimulate the G-spot during penetration. Because the G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina, it can be awkward to get to alone. A G-spot-specific dildo – often marketed as such, always featuring a curve and usually a noticeable head – can be a huge help.
If you’re with a partner who wants to try to squirt, one way to do this is by making a firm “come hither” motion with your fingers one to two inches inside their vagina. You may be able to feel your partner’s G-spot as some tissue that has a different texture from the rest of the vagina – but regardless of whether or not you can feel it, let your partner guide your hand to a place that feels good if necessary.
Either way, make sure to combine the firm, repeated, rhythmic motions that target the G-spot with attention to the clit and nipples. Then, give it time. If you feel like you’re going to pee, try to stay relaxed – that’s what the layers of protection over your bedding are for. Pee. Who cares? (Squirting comes out of the urethra just like urine does, and while it’s unclear whether the two are related, it (a) doesn’t matter and (b) isn’t relevant to your pleasure.) If you do squirt, congratulations on squirting! If you don’t squirt, congratulations on trying something new! Not everyone can squirt, and not everyone who can squirt does it every time. Keep going until you feel done, and give yourself room to luxuriate in all the pleasure your body is capable of.